Self - help anybody???

Next time, if you are in mood for reading a comedy book, *DO NOT* go to the humor section the store, but step up to the 'Self - Help' section. Trust me, you will not be disappointed. Right from
the titles to the content to the ridiculously over-priced multi-day programs.

This is more like a chain reaction. What happens is one person writes a book, and it can so very easily lead to a multitude of books.Here's an example.

" How to know what you want? " . So Author B reads this title and then releases a book "How to GET what you want". Then author C releases "How to discard things that you do not want" and then author D releases "Why do you want something?"....Get the drift??

Here are some more "real - good" self-help titles.

* "Who are you really? What do you want?"
* "Staying Sane"
* "How to select a self help book"
* "Shifting course to achieve success."
* "Why staying on course is important."


So some guy decides to hell with all the books and decides to write "The Last Self help book you will ever need".

Make no mistake, I am not making fun of any of these authors and I completely respect them. In fact some or most of them are wonderful orators.

But what is ridiculous is the ridiculously simple solutions they give in some of their books.
You need not be surprised if you come across a chapter which says "How to sleep less and achieve more" and the first line being , "The secret to this is waking up early". Ya right. Thank you.
Ridiculous isn't it?

And most definitely you can come across something like this with cross references.


"Ever wondered why it is so tough to be yourself? Wonder no more, because its not tough to be yourself. The truth of the matter is that you have always been yourself and its only that you never knew about it (For more, Read my book 'HOW TO THINK EFFECTIVELY') . Now you know. Go out and feel free. Say yes when you have to say YES. Say no when you have to say NO. Be straightforward (For more on this, read my book HOW TO BE STRAIGHTFORWARD). Its all easy."

Just as 3-fight, 6-song formula works for Telugu movies, there is a formula for self-help books as well. Maybe I should write the book titled "How to author a fabulous self-help book or series".
Here you go.

Write your first self-help book with a fantastic central character. Say for Ex: "Change your life with Giant Gonzalez"
Now, split your first book into a weird number of chapters or pages. Ex: " 69 pages of wisdom from Giant Gonzalez". And just take some chapters from the above book and fill exactly 65 pages. Yes not 69 but 65 pages.
Now write a book saying "The hidden 4 pages of wisdom from Giant Gonzalez".
By now, Giant Gonzalez will be a popular character. (All this assuming your first book is a success.)

So, now just keep adding the most haunting problems and solve them with Giant Gonzalez. And you just have to re-use everything from your first book.
For Ex: "How to get a girlfriend with help from Giant Gonzalez", "changing careers with help from Giant Gonzalez", "When would Giant Gonzalez retire?"..so on..You can just re-use everything from your successful book.

I have to admit that I have read quite a few self-help books. But when I look back, I just do not even understand the concept of self-help.
Its a pity that somebody has to tell you what you want, what you don't want, how to work on getting what you want etc.

One of the books advocates the thought of just saying to yourself and sticking to it. Ex: Next time when you procrastinate waking up at 6:00am, just say loudly to yourself "NO I WILL WAKE UP AT 6:00am" and wake up. If this worked for you, next time try this when you go to the "Self-Help" section of the store. Just say to yourself. "FUCK YOU ALL..I DO NOT NEED SELF-HELP"...