Slumdog Millionaire

I was watching SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE the other night in a theater 3/4ths filled with Americans. 

Its a rags to riches tale of young man who is the 'slumdog' of the movie who goes on to win more than million rupees in the show only to raise doubts on his ability to answer as he never had any proper education.

What's gripping about the movie is the screenplay and how tightly coupled the movie is. It keeps you engaged till the end and the riveting performances only add to the flavor.Its got some very good ratings and wonderful reviews from all the 'critics'.

But then, I am not entirely convinced at some of the scenes and dialogues of the movies. The movies starts with lives of slum dwellers in mumbai depicting them extremely close to reality or maybe even beyond reality. The scenes would have been great if the whole movie was a depiction of a slum-dweller's life. But the movie gradually switches its tone and becomes more of a love story which questions the purpose of these scenes.

I have serious objection to one of the scenes. In this scene, the kid takes an american couple who drive a BENZ to some sight-seeing.This was a setup by the kid, so that his friends loot the car. And now the couple along with their driver return only to find that the whole car was looted (including the tyres), with the body of car resting on a pile of bricks.  At this point, the driver just hammers the boy while the american couple stop him. Then the kid says 'You wanted to see real INDIA, here it is..' and the lady replies 'Son, I will show you what real AMERICA is..' and hands him over some money. Can anyone explain to me what the director or the writer is trying to say here. Is he saying, if you steal a car in AMERICA, the car owner will give you some money saying 'this is REAL America'.

Ok the movie is good. Ok The technical values are perfect. Ok the performances are good. Ok it has great reviews. Alright it has a gripping screenplay. But what's with CRIBBING about the country.

I am what 24 years old now..and throughout my life i have learnt 'There is no short cut to success'. I bet there is. You want to know how? Read on..

You are a budding photographer? Capture a photo of a beggar who is 4 years old or even simple get a panoramic view of a big slum in INDIA...You will be famous.

You are a budding movie director? Create a video scolding the system, something like politicians doing nothing but blocking the traffic to let their motorcade go, something like policemen taking bribe and laughing, while a 6 year old kid toils hard in a mechanic shop in the background and earns 5 rupees. You will be critically acclaimed.

You are a budding artist?..Draw a wonderful painting. Divide the canvas into four quadrants. Draw the Indian map in the middle making sure atleast some part of the quadrant is covered by INDIAN map. Now in the first quadrant, draw the life of slum dweller including a big picture of slum, with ppl begging and stealing and getting into prostitution. In the second quadrant draw a picture of big industries and in the foreground depict as if, industrialization is possible only through bribe. In the third quadrant, draw a heavily packed train with ppl above, inside and under it, depicting POPULATION pulls this country down. And in the fourth quadrant, draw parliament house and a group of politicians and somehow depict INDIA is what it is, only because of POLITICIANS. And BEHOLD, you will be FAMOUS.

You are a budding lyricist?.. Write an amazing song scolding the system left, right and center. You might as well hear reviews of your song on the lines of 'The writer has taken such subtle care of touching even the minute problems that this country faces today that his effort has to be appreciated'.

Whatever field you are in, just try (honestly) scolding the system and blaming the system. I bet you will be famous.

Frankly guys, I am so frustrated with all the cribbing. There are tons of videos on youtube which shows children are not provided proper education, but then wat does one gain with such a video? 

I am not trying to make any point here. I am not saying 'Be the change you want to see'. I am just saying atleast Dont talk the change , you want to see when you cant 'do' anything about it. Well, both sentences mean almost the same. Do they? Just read them again and you should find a simple difference.

"Meetings"..can still be funny

Team : Raj, Me,Nikki, Chris, John
Raj, Me, Nikki --- Indians
Chris - Polish settled in America
John - American
Raj - Project Lead

Scene 1
Nikki : Ok, all we have to do is 12 (into) 2 and we get 24 installments...
John : No, i lost it..all we are trying to do is get the installments rite..
Nikki : Yes 12 (into) 2 gives 24 installments
John: No, i thought 12 (into) 2 is 6...hmm...ok lets do it together..
(Walking to the board) this is crazy man.....
(writing on the board) ok so 12 / 2 is 6 isnt it..(read it as ...ok so 12(into) 2 is 6 isnt it)
Nikki (walking to the board)...No John.....i said 12 * 2 is 24..(read it as 12 into 2 is 24)
John : ohhhhhhhhh man........i thought when u said 12 into 2 is you are making 12 "into" 2 parts....what the hell...
Nikki: no John...i mean 12 * 2 is, i multiply 12 , 2 times...
Client : where the hell did u get that "into" from?
Nikki...hmm...well..
ME : Well, we can come to a conclusion here.., we are all good at mathematics...it took 3 ppl to come to find out that 12*2 = 24 and we write programs to calculate insurance premiums...(everybody laughs)

Scene 2
Chris : Srini, can u connect the projector to ur laptop.
Me : Yes...after 2 min...hmm...i cant connect the cable Chris..looks like something is wrong with the port..
Chris : Let me see..Raj : let me see as well..(Finally we find the right slot)
Chris : wow, it takes 3 ppl to connect a projector to laptop..fabulous team.
Me : hahaha
Raj : can u switch on the projector john?
John: ya...(he switches it on..and it doesnt project)
Chris : let me help u (and it projects)
Me : wow, it takes only 2 ppl now to switch on the projector.
John: yaaaa...awesome job..we are improving, we will get ther..great job guys..Everybody laughs again..

Scene 3
John : Hi guys, hows it goin...done with ur lunch?
Raj : yep..
Me : yes, we are all set..
John: So, what do u guys eat. you face any problems here in America?
Me : Well..veggies might face a problem..but as for me, I am a strict non-vegetarian. (Everyone laughs)
Raj : Non-Vegetarians also face a problem sometimes.
John : And how is that.
Raj : We dont eat pig, cow, buffalo, sheep, beef,ham,bacon,steak, pork....watever..
( I was shocked when my lead actually said this, and you should look at the face on my client here..)
John : (a frustrated look) well..I donno abt u guys but I love beef..and ya i love pork as well..
Raj : Na...na...na...If you eat pig, you know wat happens, you get that tapeworm into ur stomach, and your stomach becomes a big mess.
(Meanwhile i was pinging him on his messenger..."Boss..plz stop it..control urself")
John: Oh, is it never heard of it though.
Raj : Yaa, thing is, pigs in india are not raised like here in USA. Pigs in india are equivalent to dirty animals, germ carriers, disease breeders...
(Meanwhile I on messenger..."bosssssssss...will u please stop it)
Client: Oh, well..
Raj : Also , cow u know........(I stop him)
Me : But actually I love beef, its good.
John : Thats my man....See...
(Meanwhile my lead sees the messenger and starts damage control)
Raj : Ya actually, i have gone to muslim dinners and they serve some excellent beef..
John : Aaah..Never mind...bottom line is i love beef....

Scene 4
Client here is polish
Me : Hey Nikki, i say the premium is calculated wrong on that screen...(and i donno why i said but i said..) haan ki na?
Nikki: haan.
Chris (Slowly walks to the board) : And writes HUKEENA. hmm..I see that and others dont notice that..and i walk to the board and write under HUKEENA..."haan ki naa" = "Yes or no".Meanwhile John gets his eyes on the board and says.."well..well..some language lessons goin on here..let me see what did i miss.."haan ki na" is "yes or no" in hindi..and "hukeena" is "yes or no" in polish...." man im a genius..I can go and settle down either in India or Poland..Rest of the room laughs...and he still doesnt know exactly why we laughed..

Scene 5
Team lunch in an indian restaurant.
Everyone in line for buffet in this order..Chris(Polish), followed by Raj( Tamilian) then me and others..first item in the buffet was "SAMBAR"
Chris: Oh..this is a different soup..hmm..looks thick..lot of stuff in it..hmm..looks tasty....
Lead(Very angry, calls a waiter) : How can you do such a senseless thing... How can u put sambar first...People will start thinking it is a soup..Well, chris you can have the soup , its good actually
(I promise, i had to use all my controlling power to stop myself my bursting out with laughter..because of the look on my Chris's face)
Believe me Chris did not even take sambar that day..Then..
Chris : tell me guys, how do i eat this thing here showing Naan.
Raj : You can tear it and eat with any of the curries..
After few min,
Chris : wow they are really good..wat is it called?
Raj : Naan.(read as "non")
Chris: Ok im gonna ask for more.(read american accent)
Client : can i have more naan("non") plzz..
Waiter 1: hmm...give me a sec (calls another guy)
Waiter 2: hmm..one sec sir i will send my manager
Hotel Manager comes
Manager : yes sir, my boys say you are asking for something out of menu, we will be more than happy to add it to our menu., can u let us know sir?
Finally i intervene.
ME : Actually we asked for more "bread"..
Manager : Aaagh..bread..right away Sir.
Chris : (Very angry) damn, so that was a setup Raj ..haan? I am gonna kill you. I knew you were kidding..how can something be "naan"...huh....

Meetings...can be funny as well..

Hi Guys

A Quick and small, but funny post.. :-)
Here are the few conversations between my team members(barring me) and the clients, in many meetings that i have attended here in chicago.

Colleague(to client) : Tomorrow, the deployment is "pakka".
Client : (Shocked...) deployment is whaat??? I am sorry.
Colleague : Well..I am sorry..I meant we will most definitely have a deployment tomorrow, if we dont have any issues in the next few hours.
Client: Wow, you replaced that whole sentence with a single word. let me know of the word plz..
Colleague : No, that was not engliish. I am sorry.
Client: Never mind.

Another day..
Client: I would want you to send me both the excel sheets.
Colleague : Ok, i will "club" both the excel sheet and send it to u..
Client : (Confused....) you will "what" the excel sheet.
Colleague: I will club , club the excel sheet.
Client: I dont get you.
Colleague: I will make the two excel sheets as one and send u..
Client: ohh, then why do u say club..when u say u will club, you are saying, you will hit hard as if with a club
Another client: I would "love" to club an excel sheet..sounds very exciting.
Whole room laughs

Incident 3:
Client: (To our colleague) so did u buy ur car.
Colleague: No...I actually dont know, what is the procedure to get a fancy number.
Client : (Again surprised) "what" number??
Colleague: Fancy..fancy..you know something which u can remember easily.
Client: Ohh, i never knew numbers could be fancy

Incident 4:
This happened in a cultural workshop.
Client : Please introduce yourself
Colleague : I am basically from Chattisgarh in India.
Client: So where are u from "non-basically".
Colleague: No words...just a blank face
Whole room has a hearty laugh.
Colleague: I passed out in 2005.
Client(lady) : Oh dear..What happened. Was everything alright then? Did u have any problem.
Colleague: Again confused.
Another Colleague : (clarifying) She meant she finished her graduation in 2005.
Now the client is confused :-)

These are only some of the conversations that i am mentioning. We have a hearty laugh every day in every meeting.

I will keep posting.

DeSSy

Woow..wat a fortnight

Hey guys..

Dessy is back after a fortnight...And what a fortnight it has been ..

First, my train gets stuck in a tunnel and i was in there for about 2hours..in pitch black surroundings only to be "rescued" by Chicago fire department.
Then only day before yesterday, there was a bomb threat and we were again "evacuated" from the office.And if you guys think these were big disasters or bad things, i did not even inform you about the biggest disaster that has occured.
My project went live on MONDAY and without any problems and the funniest part is customers started using it. GOD BLESS!!!

Now that i have finished more than 45 days in USA., i would like to share something which i noticed about the "indians" here..Seriouslysomething gets into most of the ppl (you do have some exceptions like me) and ppl start behaving strangely.
The following observations are puuuuuuuuuurely personal, and these are some of the things that happened WITH ME..

Terms used :- "Colleague" here is an indian colleague.(More abt american colleagues..LATER)

At restaurants..I went to a restaurant with one of my colleague who has already been in USA for few days...First problem i faced was reading the menu card...Leave alone the composition, taste, ingredients, cost etc..I was not even able to pronounce 80% of the food available...And when i ask this guy what i should take, he would reply mentioning one of the remaining 20% and say only these are good and the rest are not good...CLEVER HAAN??And while we are having food, he would say..."Naa...this is not good...you see, there's a restaurant 30 miles from here, and they serve some xxxx(again something which i (and of course even he) have no clue about) which is fantaaaaaastic...you should go there some weekend(and he knows that wil never happen..AGAIN CLEVER)"..These guys are as lost as i am but they pretend..they punch shadows...

We come from cities where the minimum temperature in an year, is more than the maximum temperature here IN CHICAGO....Its tooooooooo cold...And of course we would feel it..Even the slightest rise in temperature would result in clients saying "its a great day, good weather isnt it"
And my colleague here, wears a thermal inner (top and bottom), a "thick" winter coat, gloves, ear grips and a winter scarf around the neck and says to another colleague "Hey its a great day, great weather isnt it" and only to find the other guy saying.."oh ya it is". I would be shivering and my teeth would be clattering when they ask me the same question. And I would reply "N..Nnnn...No, it , its still..c..c..ccold"...And LADIES AND GENTLEMAN here goes THE MOST COMMON REPLY AMONG ALL THE INDIANS here IN A TYPICAL MOTHER TONGUE ACCENT(TELUGU IN THIS CASE)..."HAHAHA...FOR THIS ONLY YOU ARE FEEELING THAT MUCH AAA.,WE HAVE SEEN -30 AND for this only, you are complaining means, haha.. what man...very bad "...I would only reply to them saying..."ya guys, you have seen -30, but i havent seen zero till now"..Gosh, they feel sooooooooo proud in saying,as if they have survived the world's toughest man competition.

Now about the ladies and gentlemen that get settled here, the bragadiccio never ends, except few people who are down to earth.I could find many ladies in my apartments complex, when asked a question "what did you do this weekend" would reply "We went to "xyz" movie on our "abc" car before which we did some shopping in "123" mall buying an x dollar article and y dollar watever.......". We dont need that all info mam..and im sorry i asked that question..They fail to understand that it is all part of a casual banter.Believe me that was the last time, i asked any lady what she did over the weekend.

And one striking difference that you find in desis here is that, out of nowhere a serious sense of patriotism gets into them...,not to miss, a serious desire to celebrate the indian festivals..Beleive me, i was never wished on UGADI (telugu new year) when i was back in india, even if i was wished it was just casual or even sarcastic..but here..gosh, we even had ppl roaming around with the ugadi pachadi( a dish prepared only on ugadi ).Ramnavami.., only thing i remember abt this festival is gettign a holiday for school..nothing else..But here..we have ppl getting together "again" and doing something...SOOOOOOO ARTIFICIAL...
I wil end here(its getting a bit serious isnt it)...My next blog would be abt my first days in USA...and here's a small snippet from that ;-)

It was March 10th , 2008 , my first day @ work here in chicago...I was to report to office at 9am, and my office had revolving doors. I walked upto the entrance.The doors revolve from right to left. I did not notice that and I pushed the door in the wrong direction with all my strength fromleft to right and forced my way in, making a screeching sound, only to find 4 security personnel staring at me and the crowd in the lobby coming to a standstill, just looking at me...THAT WAS MY MEGA - ENTRANCE :-)

More...in my next blog....:-)

dESSy

CHENNAI Autowalah!!!!

Hi Guysss!!!!

Dessy is back...

Guess what..today I took a taxi to my home, and the taxi driver was lost..he just took a wrong turn, and had to go more than a mile, to turn back and get me back home. ..Ok you guys beginning to wonder what the hell is he talkin about...Well..its not over yet...he dropped me and the taxi-meter read 20.89 dollars. And now came one of the most shocking incidents of my life..He said.."Sir...I made a mistake, and had to go a mile extra etc..you dont have to pay me 20.89, your fare would be 18 dollars sir..."

I was shocked.... flabbergasted..As i paid him, memories of my chennai life (Ok...i left chennai only one month back..but they ARE memories after all..) came flooding back to my mind.

There were these wondeful series of encounters that i had with the infamous Chennai autodrivers..that i would like to share...Seriously i never thought there could be these many ways of cheating...and the list is not exhaustive..

March 25th, 2006
I remember the date because it was my first day in chennai..I was to report at 10:30 am.., and i was looking for an auto..I was dressed like a clown..a new white shirt, a Red necktie, and my best trouser with a huge file in my hand..and an ID card around my neck...I asked an autowalah for a ride..and he asked 200/-. I thought, he cant fool me...and said, i will give only 150/-.He obiliged. And i was proud of this..only to know that, it should cost me only 50/- max...:-(..Well...this is quite normal in any city...isnt it??

June 6, 2006
It was my birthday, and i was in a very good mood...with a spring in my stride. i decided to take an auto to my office..The autodriver asked me 120/- bucks to my office, while it normally was 80/-..I said "PO" in telugu which meant go but in tamil it was synonymous to get lost..I did not know the meaning then...then the autodriver got down ,and seriously said something to me..I memorised it, and asked my tamil collegues..He actually said.."I am telling YOU..you get lost..". thanks for the respect sir....

I dont remember the dates from now..
But the encounters keep getting serious and bitter..

I had to take an auto the railway station...I got in..there was huuuge traffic....and the driver said...waste sir..too much traffic..and suddenly stopped the vehicle..and asked me to get down asking me to pay half the price...and when i asked why, he said...the engine is giving some trouble and the silencer is making too much sound..i paid him and he went away...only then i realised what an @#$@#% I was...

Few days from then..i had to come home from a bus terminal station out of the city at 10pm..again i took an auto(i never learn from my mistakes)..The price was fixed at 150/-...I reached half the distance...and that guy stopped and said.."Sir, i have to go home..give me 100, take another auto from here...." ..choo chweet...I said..no I am not goin to do that..you have to drop me at my place..Then he quietly went to petrol bunk and very politely said.."sir Give me 100/- for petrol"...i gave him...and thats it..he went 50 meters from there..and stoped the vehicle and said...you have to go..im not taking you from here...I guess this happens no where apart from CHENNAI.

And then...learning from all these mistakes...i decided firmly not to take an auto..only to find myself in an auto to office the next dAY.....the auto driver asked me for 80/- and i got into the auto immediatley without even bargaining..I was so happy to hear a two digit number for an auto fare..And now..the auto driver started talking abt petrol prices etc..etc..and suddently said..sir give me 120/-. He said..i forgot the route...blah..blah..and guess wat I ended up paying 100/-...LESSON LEARNT...the price you bargain in chennai is not the final price..you can have a continuous negotiation till u reach ur destination...Now thats a wonderful provision only in CHENNAI...

Then..at the chennai central station...you take an auto..and if you are alone..they say..let us get one more person sir...why to go alone..and guess what..the fare is not shared..i pay 140 to my place..and the other person also pays the full fare..A perfect example two idiots sharing a ride...with autodriver the sole benefactor.And here comes another twist..u bargain the rate..and after all this...they say..parking price 50/- extra..now where the hell that came from...

Another case...i was sitting beside the auto driver..and was sending to message on my NOKIA 6600...he saw my phone, and he saw my id card..and said..no sir..nokia 6600 is outdated..i have nokia N70..and he showed me his phone..and he asked me what were my specificatins..I said...1.3 VGA cam...60MB memory...he replied.."mine is 2 MP camera,..with 1GB memory extendible upto 2GB and i have a preloaded music player..do you want any songs..i can transfer thru bluetooth" ..i thanked himm..and thought..obviously if you do all the above things..not only will you buy N70..but you would also show attitude..

well, the bottom line is..

By reading all the above scenarios..you would have learnt two things..

1) How to deal with chennai auto drivers..
2) How to become an asshole again and again and again and again...

Choice is yours :-)

Cheers
DessY

Introo

Well Well...This is my first "blog" .I always wondered what a "blog" was. What is it??? A means of voicing out your opinion?? A means venting out your anger?? A means of just bragging about yourself ?? something like.... "Hey did you check out my new blog that i have written on how to make a potato curry?? ...."Dude....you wont believe this, someone posted a comment on my blog last week.."...

I still dont know(honestly) what a blog is., and what exactly is its purpose. Now cmon, dont say "you @#$@#, blog is a weblog....a blog is something similar to a joural.."...blah....blah...blah...
In my opinion, its something on which you scribble something upon, and immediately send the link to all your friends and say.."hey check this out.."
Being an INDIAN i am, I strictly follow the herd (which i have been doing successfully for quite some time now). So considering the fact that every @#$@#% has a blog, its high time even i start writing a "blog"

Enough of starters, its time for the main course...I am D.SRINIVAS, and nobody calls me SRINIVAS. Everyone calls me "DESSY". That has been by nickname for what...18 years now?? and i thank that guy,wherever he is, for giving me this wonderful name(honestly, i like it..)..I am a SOFTWARE ENGINEER by profession and i have been in this field for 2 years now(honestly, i dont know how i survived this long a period...GOSH!!!I have been toooo honest in this blog).

I am a good person(again, honestly :-) ) , and .....and.....what do i say about myself...well..this was how i answered in my interview 2 years back ....I am a hardworking, diligent and self-conscious person who clearly pursues his aspirations. I am a very confident guy, and get along with people very well.I feel my technical qualifications and skills will be a great asset to this company(a blatant lie). Haha...i am laughing as i type this...I WAS NOT HONEST then.;-)

So, coming back to the honest dessy....I am laaaaaazy..I luvvv sleeping..and i dont know(again honestly) what i meant when i said "self-conscious person who clearly pursues his aspirations". And frankly, i dont like "techie" things..I don't get fascinated by the new version of JAVA....Web 2.0 doesn't impress me....software architects and engineers live a boring life.....On the flip side, i like reading books...listening to music and surfing the net...(Now you know, why i dont have a blog till now..do you???)
And my future goals...hmm...post a new entry on my blog in the coming weeks.
I prefer taking it step by step rather than saying....25 years from now, i would want to become the prime minister of INDIA...
Right now, i am in chicago, working as A SOFTWARE ENGINEER. I HOPE TO CHANGE THIS IN COMING YEARS..

MY PRINCIPLE TOWARDS LIFE IS SIMPLE...

YOU HAVE GOT ONLY ONE SHOT AT LIFE...
DO ANYTHING!!! DO EVERYTHING!!!!

BLOOPER!!!!!!

As i told you,,,im new to blogging...

and i wonder how this was posted ;-)
Just ignore this....

More to come...STAY TUNED!!! :-)