"Meetings"..can still be funny

Team : Raj, Me,Nikki, Chris, John
Raj, Me, Nikki --- Indians
Chris - Polish settled in America
John - American
Raj - Project Lead

Scene 1
Nikki : Ok, all we have to do is 12 (into) 2 and we get 24 installments...
John : No, i lost it..all we are trying to do is get the installments rite..
Nikki : Yes 12 (into) 2 gives 24 installments
John: No, i thought 12 (into) 2 is 6...hmm...ok lets do it together..
(Walking to the board) this is crazy man.....
(writing on the board) ok so 12 / 2 is 6 isnt it..(read it as ...ok so 12(into) 2 is 6 isnt it)
Nikki (walking to the board)...No John.....i said 12 * 2 is 24..(read it as 12 into 2 is 24)
John : ohhhhhhhhh man........i thought when u said 12 into 2 is you are making 12 "into" 2 parts....what the hell...
Nikki: no John...i mean 12 * 2 is, i multiply 12 , 2 times...
Client : where the hell did u get that "into" from?
Nikki...hmm...well..
ME : Well, we can come to a conclusion here.., we are all good at mathematics...it took 3 ppl to come to find out that 12*2 = 24 and we write programs to calculate insurance premiums...(everybody laughs)

Scene 2
Chris : Srini, can u connect the projector to ur laptop.
Me : Yes...after 2 min...hmm...i cant connect the cable Chris..looks like something is wrong with the port..
Chris : Let me see..Raj : let me see as well..(Finally we find the right slot)
Chris : wow, it takes 3 ppl to connect a projector to laptop..fabulous team.
Me : hahaha
Raj : can u switch on the projector john?
John: ya...(he switches it on..and it doesnt project)
Chris : let me help u (and it projects)
Me : wow, it takes only 2 ppl now to switch on the projector.
John: yaaaa...awesome job..we are improving, we will get ther..great job guys..Everybody laughs again..

Scene 3
John : Hi guys, hows it goin...done with ur lunch?
Raj : yep..
Me : yes, we are all set..
John: So, what do u guys eat. you face any problems here in America?
Me : Well..veggies might face a problem..but as for me, I am a strict non-vegetarian. (Everyone laughs)
Raj : Non-Vegetarians also face a problem sometimes.
John : And how is that.
Raj : We dont eat pig, cow, buffalo, sheep, beef,ham,bacon,steak, pork....watever..
( I was shocked when my lead actually said this, and you should look at the face on my client here..)
John : (a frustrated look) well..I donno abt u guys but I love beef..and ya i love pork as well..
Raj : Na...na...na...If you eat pig, you know wat happens, you get that tapeworm into ur stomach, and your stomach becomes a big mess.
(Meanwhile i was pinging him on his messenger..."Boss..plz stop it..control urself")
John: Oh, is it never heard of it though.
Raj : Yaa, thing is, pigs in india are not raised like here in USA. Pigs in india are equivalent to dirty animals, germ carriers, disease breeders...
(Meanwhile I on messenger..."bosssssssss...will u please stop it)
Client: Oh, well..
Raj : Also , cow u know........(I stop him)
Me : But actually I love beef, its good.
John : Thats my man....See...
(Meanwhile my lead sees the messenger and starts damage control)
Raj : Ya actually, i have gone to muslim dinners and they serve some excellent beef..
John : Aaah..Never mind...bottom line is i love beef....

Scene 4
Client here is polish
Me : Hey Nikki, i say the premium is calculated wrong on that screen...(and i donno why i said but i said..) haan ki na?
Nikki: haan.
Chris (Slowly walks to the board) : And writes HUKEENA. hmm..I see that and others dont notice that..and i walk to the board and write under HUKEENA..."haan ki naa" = "Yes or no".Meanwhile John gets his eyes on the board and says.."well..well..some language lessons goin on here..let me see what did i miss.."haan ki na" is "yes or no" in hindi..and "hukeena" is "yes or no" in polish...." man im a genius..I can go and settle down either in India or Poland..Rest of the room laughs...and he still doesnt know exactly why we laughed..

Scene 5
Team lunch in an indian restaurant.
Everyone in line for buffet in this order..Chris(Polish), followed by Raj( Tamilian) then me and others..first item in the buffet was "SAMBAR"
Chris: Oh..this is a different soup..hmm..looks thick..lot of stuff in it..hmm..looks tasty....
Lead(Very angry, calls a waiter) : How can you do such a senseless thing... How can u put sambar first...People will start thinking it is a soup..Well, chris you can have the soup , its good actually
(I promise, i had to use all my controlling power to stop myself my bursting out with laughter..because of the look on my Chris's face)
Believe me Chris did not even take sambar that day..Then..
Chris : tell me guys, how do i eat this thing here showing Naan.
Raj : You can tear it and eat with any of the curries..
After few min,
Chris : wow they are really good..wat is it called?
Raj : Naan.(read as "non")
Chris: Ok im gonna ask for more.(read american accent)
Client : can i have more naan("non") plzz..
Waiter 1: hmm...give me a sec (calls another guy)
Waiter 2: hmm..one sec sir i will send my manager
Hotel Manager comes
Manager : yes sir, my boys say you are asking for something out of menu, we will be more than happy to add it to our menu., can u let us know sir?
Finally i intervene.
ME : Actually we asked for more "bread"..
Manager : Aaagh..bread..right away Sir.
Chris : (Very angry) damn, so that was a setup Raj ..haan? I am gonna kill you. I knew you were kidding..how can something be "naan"...huh....